Which I guess is like a bad hair day only harder to repair or reboot, brain being inside skull and all. I’m either sedated (which I doubt, I’m only taking 2.5 mg Z and .125 K) or experiencing my old friend psychomotor retardation (more likely, though why the hell isn’t 12 mg E working? do I have to go to 15? is it that I only got 7 hours sleep last night? is it that I suck?). <—
And see, that’s the part right there that says this isn’t me. This is my brain attacking me, I just don’t know why. I finally got myself dressed at about 2 pm and forced myself to go outside. Stood blinking in the sun, watered all the outside plants (past time to harvest basil and make pesto), petted cats, and then hurled myself in the direction of nail polish = grading reward. After stupefied consultation at CVS (my mouth tends to hang open when I’m this downcast, I stare at the floor and shuffle when I walk if I don’t fight it), these two are on their way to me now, courtesy of my Amazon points: “mochachino” and “all tied up.” The first has a silver sparkle in it and the second a bronze/gold sparkle, and I am interested in both kinds of shimmer, as much as I have been interested in anything today. My neck actually hurts because I’ve been unable to hold up my head for so many hours. Maybe I just need a nap, before this turns mean-red on me. Goddammit.
